Please be reminded that this post is just influenced by my thoughts.. I do not intend to judge because only God knows the fate of my kids and how are they going to be when they reach a certain age.
Daddy R, Tia and I was at Ikea q-ing for food earlier this afternoon. There was a teenage couple in the q as well in front of us hugging each other. not the casual arm draped around the shoulder thingy but hug front chest hug. okay, none of our business. I took the trolley and placed two trays in it. and noticed that the couple was like oooops dah terlepas ke depan, lupa ambik dulang.
How so in love were they.
And i looked at us, also in the queue..once in awhile kissing little Tia while in line. One of us pushing the trolley forward, carrying a large tote bag full of baby needs and ipad, one of us carrying a 12kg toddler. both hands off each other. I remember we were once where they were, teenagers…never letting go of each other’s hand.
How so in love were we.
As we set up our table – pull up a baby chair, daddy put tia in the chair, i put his food across me and mine next to tia, carefully watching tia as she was preparing to dip her fingers in our mushroom soup, set up the ipad to play tia’s favourite videos so that we could eat in peace and handed her a french fry……I notice the teenage couple sitting in the next table, once in awhile looking over at tia, at us. They shared only 1 plate of 10 meatballs, perhaps, sitting calmly across each other.
That was when I started to ponder.
Do they know, that love is a wonderful thing. it’s everything. it WAS everything to us at that age. But….
Do they have enough money to build the love into a marriage, into a family, seeing that they were so young and can afford to just share a plate of meatballs? If they do, do they have enough money to provide each other the comfort of a home in this big city, a comfortable environment for your wife to birth your children, send your children to good schools and see them graduate with a good degree in the future?
Does he have enough patience to handle and a hormonal pregnant wife, who will carry his child for 9 difficult months, and is able to keep her smiling throughout her shahid period? Will he be there to hold her hand through labor to help her relax or does she have to fumble for something to grab on (nurses’ scrubs included)?
Can she care for their offsprings the way her mom did for her? can she cook for her husband? can she be patient and supportive if her husband works long hours and she has to be independent most of the time?
Will they be able to accept and tolerate each other’s upbringing and viewpoints in life when they stay under the same roof?
I sure hope they will be able to succeed through all of this, and perhaps a lot more as their marriage matures, if they ever do get married.
It is today, when my husband is finally present at our son’s monthly ultrasound after 6 appointments of me going alone, when he hold my hand for just a brief moment while walking and carrying tia, when he refused to lend his energy to carry the toddler bed onto the trolley and insisted that we come again, rendering the ikea visit totally useless in the end, the bed ive been planning to buy for tia since the past month with my own pocket money. When i could not fight for what i want and how i want to spend my money, how I spent the rest of the day ignoring him , refused to take care of tia and letting him do it 100%. How he struggled to bathe and chase her around to dress her up like how i did when he’s not present most of the week doing locum for that little extra money for the family..,how he had trouble putting her to sleep that he had to take her out for a drive and came back with her sleeping over his shoulder.
All in a day was how i observed the struggles of a marriage and i am pretty sure everyone has had their fair share of it.
How did we get from being the carefee lovey dovey teenagers who was oblivious on the struggles of life to this, the everyday challenges.
Blessed, nonetheless……I am thankful for a roof above my head, enough necessities, a beautiful healthy little girl, a baby boy whom i know wil be equally beautiful. Nothing in life is perfect though, no matter how u love that person. Love is never blind at one point of life.
I wish everyone a good marriage and may all of us achieve the harmony we wish to have with each other and spread the message to our kids when they are of age.
Lots of hugs needed today.